Sabtu, 1 Mac 2014

Alone but not lonely.



Is it the same thing? Is it the same feeling? Are they both something everyone fear? 

No, being alone and being lonely is two different thing. To be alone is to without the presence of another where as to be lonely, is to lack the sense of longing. A lacking sense of familiarity. A sense of being lost when you're surrounded with dramas.

Yes, today I'm going to talk about being alone and being lonely. 

To clarify, I love being alone. I love the time off from people. The time for some personal space. The time for some me-time and intrusion to that wonderful time. A time where no one else should barge in. However, I resent the sense of loneliness.

Loneliness is a very scary thing. Unlike being alone, loneliness basically means to be in solitude. Not in the radar of anyone else. No one is out there caring for you, looking out for you or even noticing your very presence. That's the meaning of loneliness.

There's so many times where I'm surrounded by so many friends, I don't feel alone but I definitely feel lonely. Everyone's having their own story, their own joy among themselves, their own little tuned-in frequency where they are talking about something only they understand. It could be an experience they experienced together. A movie they've recently or previously seen. An acquaintance they both know. Me being there, all by myself without the notice of anyone. No idea how to merge into those little groups of discussion. Feeling outcast and alone. That's the feeling of loneliness even in a time where you are surrounded by a bunch of good friends.

Imagine me, an extroverted introvert feeling so. Now, imagine an introvert experiencing that same feeling. Are they alone? no. They're not. But are they feeling lonely? POSSIBLY. 

What I want to say is that, you might think it's not a big deal to not be chatty with everyone but please do bare in mind, someone out there is lonely and might just need that little chatty side of yours. 

Okay, I've no idea what I'm talking about. Hmmm..

I just want to say, loneliness, alone, different in so many ways. One can be alone but not feel lonely. However, someone might not be alone and can still feel lonely. 

Me, going through some harsh times now. I'm not alone, but I'm definitely not lonely too because of my friends from back home and this new place I'm beginning to make home. The leaders that watches over me giving me wise advises. And a very wise parents who constantly keep me from being lonely. :) THANK YOU.

Isnin, 8 Julai 2013

Life at 8th July 2013

Life at 8th of July, I couldn't think of a more appropriate title for this entry. Hehe! :)

How would I say this, 8th of July 2013, I'm a student again after months of holiday. Going into University as a first year degree student in the faculty of Engineering. It's nice! IT'S AWESOME! Life as a Uni Student is AWEEESOME! Freedom, freedom and more freedom! 

Well, I wouldn't say it was all high and no low. Yes, I have my low point during the sem. Gone through conflicts with the group of people I team with in my studies. It was a dark period. Avoid! RUN! HIDEEEE! DISAPPPEARRR!! If you wanna challenge my skills, you're a millennium too early. :P

Yesss, this is so not me. I gotta settle this. Can't let this go unsolved. So, we had a round table discussion and *vualaa!* it works magic! Everything's solved.. I'm happy, he's happy, they're happy, everyone's happy but hurt done is done. It might heal but scars are gonna stay. :( 

So, I have lots of friends. Superficial? I don't know.. Only God knows and time will prove. Friends you meet   in a place far from home is different from friends you know and mingle with for your whole life back at home. Feeling so distant, so in need for comfort, solace.. You just go out and meet people. The more you meet, the lonelier you get, the more you try to find friends. I meet this person, she's probably one of my closest friend I have in uni. Never knew I would have such a scary friend as my close friend. Met her in camp, worked with her as volunteers for event. How I become fond of her, I've no idea. She's awesome, she ought to know it. 

I too have awesome housemates! We have the conman, the tfker, the ugly one (me), the self-proclaim awesome and the quiet one. In house number 5013, 5 people stay together for 1 sem, how complete my hostel life is all thanks to you guys! The late night roti canai, the frustration in the middle of the night of having lousy service.. All these are awesome memories. The pillow fight I have with my roommate, Mr Au.. BLOODY HELL, I WANNA SMACK YOU WITH A PILLOW SO HARD YOU JUST FALL ASLEEP! *in case you're reading this*

Anyway, life could possibly change.. For better, or for worst. God knows.. I shall walk by faith. Would I switch to Local U or continue? I'll only know by this Thursday.. 

By faith..
we live,
we sleep at night because we believe we're wake up tomorrow.
we take a bath because we believe we won't slip and die.
we eat, because we know God cleanse our food.
Everything we do, we know You're there to protect us..

For if the raven is well taken care by You, what more us?

Rabu, 6 Jun 2012

Why so serious?

To: whoeveritmayconcern


Love, love, love..
it pains me to watch it paint you with pain.

If you wanna fall in love,
Be warned,
It's painful to be in love when you know you're not loved.
To be ignored when your intentions are clear.

Love, yeap, that's the way it rolls for some.

Then again, people fall in love due to the most preposterous reason,
Who am I to say a bit in this matter?
A guy who has fairly tried to avoid all contact in such matter.
Running and avoid,
Ha, the pain from the past..
It come chasing, but it got nor where near to hurting me..

Ohh, I won't bulge, not a bit to your chasing scar.

So, if you wanna fall in love,
Stop fretting,
Stop whining,
You want her to know,
Make it clear.
Don't want to do so?
Then don't sigh any longer.


Ahad, 3 Jun 2012

I.S.A.A.C network

Okay, so it's been ages since I updated my blog. Sorry bout that!

I am from a church, my church is connected to I.S.A.A.C network,
It's a network I'm proud to be in,
but it's also a network where I shouldn't be taking lightly.

I spent a week in Muar, a city in the state of Johor.
I was there for GLS (Global Leader's Summit),
Yes, you must be wondering what was I doing there.

Answer, I'm there to be trained as a leader, simple.

Okay, I was at GLS,
I received the word,
The word about the original church,
The way the Church should have been as according to the bible,
And how it was perverted through the years.
I received teachings, teachings that I must take heed,
Remember at all cost,
There's no more time to be slacking,
but there's no need to be rushing,
I know my Lord, God Almighty is at work,
His work is what I'm running,
He's the provider.
Thus, all is in time.


My work is not a race,
it's a lifetime run,
there's no need to rush for we are saving lives.
there's no need to rush for we are destroying strongholds
there's no need to rush because, in Christ, we shalt forever be victorious.

Ahad, 22 Januari 2012

It's the final countdown!

Tick tock goes the clock!
Everyone's eager to set fire to the rain!
The Chinese are given liberty!
It's time to bring "Big Bang" to town!

Fireworks bursting because it's a merry day to celebrate!
Ang pows, Red Packets..
The glorious collection of money!

Ha! I caught you there!
What are you doing peeping into that red packet?!
Oh wait! It's a bag full of pretty fireworks!
This is why I enjoy Chinese New Year!
Once a year, the sky is painted with magnificent flowers.

And this is how it should look like? No no.. This is how it is now! C:
it's now 40 minutes straight of pilaapiang pomm pomm pomm!
People are relentless! Burning money but it's once in a year.
Selfishness burnt as people enjoys the sweet sound of firebirds!

Firebirds that burn so beautifully in the sky,
bringing joy to our hearts!
Ohhh those beautiful firebirdies! I love y'all!
So it's 4 minute prior to Chinese New Year,
but no one's waiting for the clock to strike 12.
Fire burning fire burn!
Crackers go pop pop pop!

Okay, so this is my photography skill! I know it's bad. Haha!
A phone has it's limit when it comes to photography!
To wrap it all up,
Lunar year passing by like a breeze,
Fresh air keeping us afresh!
Chinese New Year is a season to celebrate..
But let not those money caught you up in worries.
Nor do those firecrackers wake you from your dreams
My friends, My family..

My family, My Youth Family, you guys are always in my heart!
My family, My Voluntary Service Family, you guys are never seconded too!
My family, My parents, sisters, brothers!
My friends! From a distant! From afar!

(I'm a horrible Chinese when it comes to words)

God bless! :) Have a great year ahead

P.S : I deleted all my previous post if you're wondering why my blog's empty.